Alice in NeverLand - A Fairy Song..( Written in 1992 )

(1)

Once upon a cold night time,

Sleepin' thru' ma favorite dream,

Thought I heard the church-bells chime,

And felt the touch of a cool moon beam...

(Cool moon beam that kissed me awake ...

Filled ma' heart like a glowin' lake...)

(2)

Woke up in that cold midnight,

And from the space around me all aglow,

Came a lil' man , oh so bright!

Who sang to me in a sweet voice,low..

(In sweet voice low said the lil' man,

''People call me 'Peter Pan'''

(3)

Before the wonder of ma' eye

Cud go 'n melt with the midnight's cold,

Found myself in the starry sky,

And felt on ma' arm the lil' man's hold...

(Hold so tight that I felt like his shadow,

Sewn to his feet a long time ago...)

(4)

He was someone I cud trust,

For his smile had drowned ma' fears away,

From his eyes fell fresh star-dust,

And there was stardust, stardust all ma' way...

(All ma' way I flew like a bird

And felt like a story I'd often heard...)

(5)

Thousand light years flew into the past,

And Eternal Joy was close-at-hand..

The lil' man heard my heart beating fast,

For I looked down 'n saw NeverLand...

( Saw NeverLand and I started to scream...

For it was just like ma' favorite dream...)

(6)

Breathed the smell of Peace Eternal

Saw angels playin' harps in the air,

Tasted the fountains of Life so real ,

And everything forever young 'n fair...

(So young 'n fair ,now they did seem ,

Just like the theme of ma' favorite dream...)

(7)

There I lived for a million years ,

Stayed so young 'n never grew old..

The lil' man's Love dried all ma' tears,

For he had got real Heart of Gold...

(Heart of Gold that never did fail,

To give the Endless Love of a Fairytale...)

(8)

Then one day in Summer time,

I was sleepin' by a flowin' stream,

Then I heard the church bells chime,

And felt the touch of a warm sun beam...

(The warm sunbeam that kissed me awake,

Filled my soul like a glowin' lake...)

(9)

Faded the wonder in a glance

By magic from NeverLand I returned,

Woke up ,then I from the trance,

And sat up and wondered 'n wondered...

(Wondered ,if that was just a dream..

Or just a dream inside a dream...)

(10)

I walked up to the mirror on the wall

And was taken by surprise..

For from ma' eyes the stardust did fall,

So real, I cudn't believe ma' eyes!...

(My eyes had saved the stardust gleam,

That was part of ma' favorite dream!...)

(11)

Then I looked into the clear blue sky

And joy stopped ma' heartbeat for a while...

For there I saw the dear God's Eye...

And with all its goodness His sunshine smile....

(The sunshine smile that keeps me gay,

Was the Promise of that new born day,

Knew that NeverLand was not far away,

And there's stardust- stardust all ma' way ....)

( Repeat with the Angels...)

My Painting, ''Krishna's somewhere here...''

My Painting, ''Water of Life''

THE FINAL VERDICT

Thru' the narrow gate on the right side of the thorny path,

I reached a place , where I saw this young woman,

Dressed in red -and covering her head,

She was an ''outcast'' , that's what she said...

I told her, ''Join me, we''ll journey to the Court of God''

We took the road less travelled by,

And reached a garden smelling of Olives..

There was this lil' girl ,a ''mistake'', that had happened to her quarrelling parents...

She was tryin' to heal the wounds on her thin legs...

Signs of frustrations of her seperated mother...

I carried the girl in my arms 'n we travelled as ''one'' , to listen to the Verdict of God...

By the river of lost dreams 'n memories,

We met this young man, labelled ''the Drug Addict- the prodigal''

He took sides with us 'n we formed a ''League of our Own''

''The outcast'', ''the mistake'', ''the prodigal'' 'n I, the ''sinner''...

We marched on , loving one another, to hear the unprejudiced Voice of God...

The final countdown...The Final Verdict!

The two words ''NOT GUILTY'' pronounced on us shook the court...

And

''Guilty'' , were they , who called the woman an ''outcast''...

''Guilty'' were they, who orphaned the child calling her a ''mistake''...

''Guilty were they, who spit on the young man, labelling him the ''prodigal addict ''...

And...

''Guilty'' were they,who slapped me 'n called me a ''sinner''

And passed off as ''saints'' hiding their guilt !

My painting - ''Friends Forever....''

Ovvoru Pookkalume- This is ma' Song.....

Alice in Neverland -A fairytale...

This was many moons ago...

The Flood had come..much thicker than the Forty days' flood of yore...made thicker by the salt of my own tears, grease of a fierce anger for the ones who orphaned me to my emptiness, blinding lights of madness,and poisons of incarnations of a desire for vengeance,....The waves were rough and every creature who shared the Ark with me, I found, had a companion, _even the lazy logger-head turtle--an aquatic extension of my own false voices, which did nothing more than schooling me in arguing and and fighting with myself ,and taking me nowhere...Even the little hermit crab had his lady by his side...The hermit crab-my own voice of the false visions ,deceiving me into grabbing the habit of being crabby about even the smallest disturbances in the Ark...( ..now I wonder why I listened to those Potuguese-men-of-war ,and ignored the voices of the dolphins speaking to me in the wilderness of the waters...)...And I the Ugliest Duckling in the Ark, the only creature without a mate ,used to go to sleep, in a shadowy corner of the swaying Ark, where my dreams visited me...Yeah, as for time, my dreams kept no strings attached ...Some times they wud happen in the middle of a shaky afternoon, without even leaving a footmark in the sands of my heart...Sometimes , they wud just pass by, while I was awake, leaving behind a vague hope or a theme for a possible future joy..--but I loved them most when they made their presence felt in the cool hours of early mornings, as visions....sometimes as Parables, enlightening me...or as prophecies , thrilling me, making every voice heard,every color seen, and every touch felt...Till then I was an Ugly Duckling , lost in the flood of my own tears , without hopes-without beliefs...

Dreams came and went as they pleased...and time reached a fullness like a blue water lily flower in full bloom, spreading the smells of the joys of a watery spring, and I the Ugly Duckling started learning to have a hope in Hope , belief in Belief and faith in Faith....

---That was many moons back....

Every creature was waiting for the day when the pretty white pigeon wud return with the Olive leaf -but I the Ugly Duckling was slowly discovering the truth that, I can make myself feel like the ''Beautiful Swan'' and learn to swim ...My dreams in silent and colorful dispersion over the wakeful unconscious of my soul, was slowly inspiring me to shake off , off my feathers , my disillusions ,and jump out into the raving waves and swim against them , and find my way home....Yeah, and I wanted to jump straight out of the Ark...

--That was about ten thousand and one moons back----

And I the Ugly Duckling, now feeling like a Beautiful Swan, jumped head-long into the flood of life ( the waves still rough , and the sea tough...)But I noticed that someone called ''loneliness'' had followed me in this adventure--a loneliness which hated itself , feared itself , and wanted to get rid of itself...Oh !how I hated that loneliness which always accompanied me everywhere ,without leaving me alone !..I was still caught up in the waves , but I was now a swimming-fighting -duck-swan...I had been treading water for so long and finally after years of only nights of waxing and wanings of many moons, I saw the ''Sun'' for the first time...As the Sun of my life rose in the horizon as a Greater Light, I saw a beautifuller Love in its infinite rays , putting in shade all other loves , narrow and selfish--those lesser loves that never ''loved''....As I made my pact with this Unconditional Sun, I saw my '' loneliness'' getting old and grey and finally dying a terrible death...I was no longer 'lonely', but went on as a 'loner'...Then I saw something in a flash , which for me was a moment becoming an experience...An Imperial shag appeared as if from nowhere and plummetted royally into the water, reappeared on the surface, then took to wings westward, so confident in a Great Love, which it knew wud provide its every need in season...That was a good lesson...Like the Bird of the Air , I felt like the Swan of the Sea..

---And that was many suns back---

One day I heard the sea-hollies breaking open into blooms---It was a sign...my beliefs blossomed into sweet-smelling KNOWINGS..which in fact were healing answers to my bleeding questions, a thousand ones which for a time had bumped into one another, falling one upon one, getting hurt ,and finally losing themselves in the whirlpool of doubts...But I always made tracks and found answers which had the strength to stand on their feet...The language of the waves was still rough , but they taught me the lesson that, beneath them lay the tranquil depths...but to reach them , one has to break thru' the waves..Another harsh lesson, making me wiser and richer...Then I delved deep down--down and still down until I found my depths...--My Tranquil Depths....

----And that was about a seven thousand and one suns back----

The Depths...It was a glorious institution by itself , where I was made wiser by the most enchanting lessons forgiving and forgetting , attaching and detaching..and above all unconditionally loving and giving...Every stone of my watery depths is an idol, every leaf a book, every vibration a song, ---Every fellow creature of mine has a tale to tell and every creeper has a scripture to preach---Life here is a serene song,-- a dream looking like reality and reality appearing like a dream, washing away the borderlines in between...My Depths , like the pristine crystals, reflects all colors, but make no distinction between brown and red , or yellow and green, but prove that all colors merge here to form one transparent Blue of an Infinite Love....The Depths always had kept the equilibriance perfectly balanced and taught me , how to keep my poise , whether rain or shine, hell or heavy water...As I started feeling like a beautiful swan , becoming one with my depths, grounded on a time and space which the wise men of proverbs call by names ''the eternal now '' and ''the eternal here'' I do not have any more prejudices...I hold no courts , no judgements---There are no differences in me , as my waters dissolve all those silly differences into one single opinion, one unanimous option,...So in me there are no undiluted extremes of passion or dispassion, no dogmatic beliefs or blind unbeliefs, but only a diligently diluted version of a system , neither intoxicating me into a forgetfulness of the past, but inspiring me to a remembrance of all lessons learnt, all events experienced, and all roads taken , which led to the recreation of the story of transformation of an Ugly Duckling of an often-read fairy tale, in my life...

--And this was only a few suns back----

Yeah I really do feel like a fairy tale...with enough pixie dust in it to make me feel like an ''Alice in Neverland'' ...Life has been a tough but beautiful story which taught me to dream into life a world where everyone is good and everything is beautiful ,and made me believe that life is an eternal medley of mixed emotions ,where ''LOVE'' is the King , feeling which I just forgot to jump on to the band wagon and join the rush of life...and like Peter Pan of my favorite story forgot to grow up and so still remain childlike...But I also do have the Cinderella inside of me waiting for her 'Prince Charming' ,who I know will take me to my Promised Land to complete ourselves...Yes ...that's why I still keep close to my soul , this ''True-Heart-Cockle-Shell'' to gift him---something which I got one night, as I had gone treasure hunting ,among the white-water-lilies in full glory, bathed in a pinkish shyness captivated by love song of Neptune and chorused by the big-hearted whales....---Yeah , I keep the true-heart-cockle to gift him, the day when I will come across his Love searching for mine, and will find eachother 'beautifully in its own time'....And being in my depths for a long time , with many moons and many suns, my tiny feet have sorto' got transformed into fishtails , which may give you the first impression ,that I am a mermaid, and so I believe someone with wings will sure come along to complement this, and I hope , I will be able to help him in our exploration into our depths together, and he in turn will make me familiar with our heights , to where we will rise in Love hand in hand....but at the same time, I know we both will have grown wise enough to understand the eternal truth along with the wise poet that , between the heights and depths , there is a humble place called 'earth' , and ''Earth's the right place for love and nowhere else is it likely to go any better ''... We will build our little tabernacle of Love on this yellow amber shaded earth .... and I hope with all my hope, will live a life , happily ever after....

When I'm down, I think of these lilies and The Nazarene who said..''...even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these...''

Worship you -- A Poem

When the air was smelling of bloody wounds of a past,

I asked him for a rose...

And he took  me to the Garden of Olives...

When the shadow of mountain of judgments fell upon me,

I asked him for a candle...

And he brought me the Sun who held no courts...

When courage withdrew into the valley of doubts,

I asked him for a word...

And for me he became the Scripture of Beliefs...

When I felt thirsty in a land of no rains,

I asked him for a little water ...

And he let loose the season that wets the mouth of earth...

When everyone deserted me in the middle of my journey,

I asked him for a helping hand...

And he gave himself unto me , and took me to the Promised Land...

Ever since that day he held my hand ( for all the world to see)

I have not asked him for anything...

For he was everything to me - and he was more than everything to me...

Thank you Paulo Coelho , for teachin' me the truth; ''Our eyes show the strength of our souls..''

Poetry by RUMI -- Only Breath--( My place is the placeless; the trace of the traceless...neither body or soul...( Thank you Great Poet ! )

Near ma' painting , ''Water of Life ''

''Choosing the 'Right' Ear'' - A Painting...

'' I Love you for a Reason ''-A Poem...

'' I LOVE YOU FOR A REASON ''

...and I waited in silence...

And silence too waited in silence,

As he said,

''I love you ''...''...for a reason...''

''Many ''...''not just one...''

A million and one lilies broke open...

And in my heart Love did happen....

...and I wondered if it was just a dream....

Or just a dream inside a dream....

As he whispered,

''I love you..'' ....'' coz you are different from everyone...''

''Yes, very different''....'' like no one ...''

And many pink Suns rose in the horizon,

Chasin' away the blues of nights without a Sun...

...and I became the fragrance...

And found myself lost in a trance...

As he kissed me and said,

''I love you...''...It's the way you talk...''

''The way you talk with your heart...''

Thousand pearls moved in my depths...

Heard harps and angels singing in my heights ....

...and I felt like a cool moonbeam...

Waking up from all blind unbeliefs....

As he embraced me to say,

''I love you...''....''the way you splash colors..''....

'' Splash them and fill my empty white spaces...''...

I stood soaked in the rain of flowers...

Violet flowers on me like summer showers....

...and again there was silence...

Silence too was engulfed in silence...

As he said in a moment of Oneness....

''Now you know..'' ... '' I love you for a reason...''

''Many..''...'' not just one..''...

One and a million stars came down...

And fell on my feet one by one....

My painting- ''Lookin' Back ''

An Unheard Melody '' -A Poem...

AN UNHEARD MELODY

...and I was lookin' for someone,

''Cool like the moon '',

To throw stardust on my feet ,

To make me rise in Love and dance to a different beat..

(..and then you came along..

like a lovely fairy song...)

You created moonlit nights for me...

And moonlit days for me...

I knew for the first time ,

(Yeah , for the first time in All time )

That I could smell the moonlight...

(..and you were Jasmine flowers all over my face..)

I knew ,

In your light's glow,there was hope for me,

And I knew ,

In your light's shadow,there was a home for me too...

Then you taught me ,

How to touch lights and shadows..

Feel them and hold them ,

I touched you, and I did melt -

And , yes I became the Endless sea...

(You drowned in my waters ,and I in your lights...

And two infinities became one greater Infinity)

You didn't say it;but I heard your Unheard Melody,

Telling me ,

You loved me, and were always in love with me ,

(...and will forever be loving me...)

And then I knew ,

Your light was not just one color ,

It was all the colors of the world for me..

And I knew ,

Your shadow was not just one hue,

It was all Rainbows for me.....

''A New Morn ''

''Soul to SOUL ''

'' A Road of my Own ''

My painting ''An Unheard Melody ''

The 'Nutty Me ' in a nut shell

Truly-Madly-Deeply in love with LOVE...Crazy..( but with a 'method in ma' madness ...)..Silly +Serious..Childish +Childlike...that's the 'Nutty Me' in a nut-shell...